For many families in Middle TN, we are approaching the one month of being back to school. The excitement of a new teacher and a new classroom have lost their luster. They’d much rather spend time with friends outside of school and those extracurricular activities are in full swing. While for many children this return to routine is helpful, it is also important to understand that it is also exhausting. Back-to-school fatigue affects parents and children alike.

back to school fatigue elementary school tipsSchool days are a long time for children to be out of their homes and on their best behavior. That is made even longer when they have early care, after-school care, extracurricular activities, and of course, homework. Simply put, it is exhausting for their small and growing bodies! Even when they are older, research has suggested that the current start and end time of school does not align well with the teenager’s biological circadian rhythm. In fact, the American Psychological Association (2024) cites that school starting just 30 minutes to an hour later resulted in more sleep, better attendance and less tardiness, less negative mood, better grades, and better developmental outcomes in all areas.

Since we aren’t currently changing the start time for Metro and local public schools, what we do need to figure out is the best ways to support our children through this experience.

The first, and probably most important thing parents can do is take care of themselves in a healthy way. Our children, regardless of their age, need us to be there for them and when we are running around on an empty tank it means that we don’t have much to give to our children. Parents are busy and trying to manage the work/life balance is incredibly challenging at times. It seems that there are never enough hours during the day. This is a topic for another day, but as it relates to the back-to-school fatigue that I’m discussing today, this means that it is important for us to recognize that when our children get home for the day, they are tired, and they need to be able to rely on us a little to make it through the rest of the day at home. They look to us, whether they know it or not, to help regulate their bodies. The way we interact with our children is going to influence how they feel when they get home. If we are stressed and tense, our children will pick up on that and they will have a harder time relaxing their bodies and minds when at home.

The next thing we can focus on is connection. All children have an innate need for connection to their caregivers. When they have been at school all day that connection has been missing, so naturally, when they return home, they have a need to connect with their parents or caregivers. Unfortunately for most of us, after school looks like a mad dash to get homework started, get dinner cooking, do some cleaning, possibly still doing work, and starting to prep for the next day. Taking even just 15 minutes of time to connect with your child, time that is focused on them and uninterrupted by technology or a to-do list, can go a long way in making your child feel the effects of a long day at school a little less intensely.

Here are some other really important things that we can do as parents/caregivers to support our children with their back-to-school fatigue:

Eat healthy

When we are stressed or lacking on time one of the easiest things to do is a quick meal. Unfortunately, those meals may not always be the healthiest options for us. Reducing the amount of processed foods and ensuring that our families are, on most days, eating a healthy, nutritious, balanced diet is an important step in battling fatigue in every member of the family. Meal planning and prepping in advance can help ensure that we have healthy options that are easier to make on our busier nights.

Stay hydrated

Most Americans are not hydrated enough. Our children are at school for most of the day and even with water bottles and fountains available, chances are that they are not drinking enough water throughout the day. When they get home have them drink a glass of water along with their after-school snack.

Have a healthy after-school snack

Ensure that their after-school snack is something healthy and provides an energy boost. Proteins and fibers like nuts, meats, whole grains, fruits, and veggies are all great options. Try to avoid processed snacks that have high calories or lack nutritional value.

Go outside

back to school fatigue kindergarten success tipsOnce your child has had some water and a healthy snack, consider sending them outside for 30 minutes to play! They have been couped up inside a building for hours and hours, sitting at desks with minimal time to move their bodies. Sending them outside to play has numerous benefits for their physical and mental health. If you can, join them outside so you can reap those benefits as well! Even if you are doing yard work or something different while they are playing, it is great for everyone to be out in the sunshine and fresh air. (Many kids also enjoy having the opportunity to do their homework outside. Is there a nice shady tree or maybe a table on a porch that they can use as a homework spot?)

Reduce screen time

Children of all ages are spending too much time on devices. With schools incorporating screens into the learning curriculum, it seems almost impossible to get away from them. According to the CDC, the average child aged 8-18 spends 7.5 hours in front of screens each day! The CDC and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry both agree that children 6+ should limit screen time to 2 hours per day.

Make time for free/unstructured play or activities

There are so many benefits to children having unstructured/free time to play or engage in their interests. Play is how children, especially young children, process the things that happen throughout their day. Free play helps them with problem-solving, emotional regulation, communication skills, and so much more. They spend 6+ hours at school each day so getting even just 30 minutes of free time to play and do what they would like (that does not involve screens) can be very beneficial to them on a variety of levels. Children, when given the opportunity to, will often self-select that activity that will make them feel best and help them to regulate in that moment. For some it will be playing outside, for others it will be reading or drawing, for others it will be building or creating, or maybe another wants to engage in imaginative play like dolls, dinosaurs, cars, etc. Create time and space for your children of all ages (yes, this helps our big kids and adolescents too) to engage in some free/unstructured play each day.

Get enough sleep

No one feels good if they haven’t had enough sleep. Research also demonstrates that not sleeping enough hours can have a negative impact on learning and attention abilities, is correlated to an increase in behavioral struggles, and can have a negative impact on both physical and mental health. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine has released a consensus on how much sleep our children need by age.

  • Children aged 3-5 years should sleep 10 to 13 hours (including naps) in a 24-hour period.
  • Children aged 6-12 years should sleep 9-12 hours in a 24-hour period.
  • Children aged 13-18 years should sleep 8-10 hours in a 24-hour period.

Help your child cope

Our children are learning and growing and need our help to learn how to cope with the stress and emotions that they are experiencing. Even our teenagers need help sometimes, although they may not want to admit it. It is our job as parents to help our children learn healthy ways of coping with their back-to-school fatigue. Rather than getting mad at them, punishing them, being frustrated with them – one of the best things that we can do as parents is to be understanding. When we can identify and appreciate what is contributing to their struggles and behaviors it puts us in a better position to respond appropriately to their exhaustion. That doesn’t mean that we need to accept the behavior as the appropriate way for them to behave, it means that we understand where they are coming from, and we use that to help them learn how to cope differently. For example, I may understand that my child did not get good sleep the night before and now they are being snippy with me after school. Rather than punishing them for their attitude I can validate what is going on and help them figure out how to better cope with being so tired after a long day. Maybe that means I give them a healthy snack and encourage them to engage in a relaxing activity that they enjoy like drawing or playing with something that doesn’t require a lot of cleaning up. Or maybe I take some time to lay down on the couch with them for 15 minutes and just rest and connect.

What works best for each child may be different but if we can incorporate some of these ideas into our every day after-school routines, it can go a long way in reducing the sense of fatigue that our children feel about being back in school.

 

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