Music is part of our daily lives. It can be a song reaching us via the video ad at the gas pump, inside our car while traveling, or in a movie. Speaking of movies, have you seen Wicked? Oh my gosh- can anyone belt out a note like Elphaba? Now THAT is wicked! If you find yourself belting out a line from Defying Gravity within the confines of your vehicle, you may or may not hear how off-key you are. And no need to be embarrassed! You are in your world expressing your joy.
But let’s touch on a different genre or tone: the tone of your speaking voice. Just 12 hours ago, I was having this conversation with my family. My wonderful husband did not understand the information I was communicating, and my tone changed as I repeated myself: enough that my 22-year-old admonished, “Mom, your tone!” It forced me to stop and check myself. I LOVE that she did this! It wasn’t mean; it was creating awareness. As I repeated myself, my voice became louder, slower, and emoted frustration.
So, I ask – do you pay attention to tone? Going back to my college undergraduate days, we learned that Psychologist Albert Mehrabian developed the 7-38-55 rule. Only 7% of communication is words, 38% is tone, and 55% is non-verbal/body language. Wow! Those are huge differences in percentages.
Think about how your child may respond to you. Is their tone disrespectful or push your buttons? Are they learning how to manage their tone? Are you modeling behavior in how you speak to them or others?
I promise you that this is a no-judgment zone! Not preaching, just coaching. And the best material I get is often from personal experience. Improving communication takes practice. It can be done in the workplace, with friends, in the home, and with those we love. Pay close attention to HOW you are speaking. If the tone is out of line, correct yourself. If your child’s tone is out of line, correct them.
Most of us are not going to hit the musical notes that Elphaba and Glinda reach, but we can nail the sound that makes up 38% of the message we are trying to convey. A tone of voice that conveys clarity, communication, humor, or, sometimes, seriousness will hopefully be delivered with kindness and love – especially within our own households.
