Valentine’s Day has just passed us by, but it is still very timely to discuss an important topic: love. I’m not talking about sweetheart, romantic love. I’m talking about deep true love — the love a parent has for their child. If you are part of the Music City Moms community, then I’m guessing you know what I’m talking about.
One of the many joys of coaching teens and young adults is witnessing the love that surrounds them from their families, who want so much for them. However, sometimes intense love can create challenging situations.
They say “love is blind” and it certainly can be. Not seeing or acknowledging our kids’ destructive behaviors and habits is a blind spot for many parents. Or maybe we see clearly but struggle how to steer our kids on the right path and build accountability.
Why is this so difficult? Well, it’s hard to watch our child suffer or be uncomfortable. And it is really hard to watch them fail. So this is a pep talk for all parents struggling in letting their child fail.
If they forget something for school, do you run it to them? If they get a lower grade than expected, do you blame it on someone else? Even worse, do you do their work for them? Not pointing fingers; just pointing out what we see in the field. And you know what … we’ve been there as parents as well doing the same ridiculous things that we think are “out of love”.
Making things easier does not build resilience. Out of love, we should allow our kids to fail and then support them through the process of getting back out there and learning from it. Teaching them that — while things are tough — it won’t kill them. Show them that you believe in them and that they are resilient!
I can promise you one thing: success looks different for every person. If your child can face the fears of stepping out on their own, that, in itself, is success. Not only for your child but for you as the parent.
It’s tough. But tough love is true love.
