I get so tired of hearing celebrities and politicians apologizing for thing they said or did, just like I get tired of hearing parents telling their kids to say “I’m sorry” if they hurt another. Don’t apologize to me unless you mean it and then apologize with action not words.
Recently some Hollywood Celebrity passionately made really awful remarks about police officers. Having heard the remarks too many time on the news, it is apparent he meant every word he said. Immediately the press began to call for an apology.
If he has any character (which I doubt), he will not apologize. Yes he was wrong, terribly wrong. He hurt many people with those words. Words which will undermine the police work for years in communities which need protection from the very men and women he offended.
If he is sorry, it’s because he’s afraid his rant will hurt the ticket office of his movies. If he’s sorry, let him tell us by donating several million dollars to the police departments in the cities whose officers he called murderers. If he’s sorry let him show us by building and funding Boys and Girls Clubs in every city or village. If he’s sorry, he’ll dedicate the rest of his life to building schools and staffing them from the profits of his movies.
Am I or anyone else to believe any apology he emits will mean anything? Will we all run out to see his movies because he said he’s sorry? I know there is nothing he could say that would get me to do anything that would help him continue to be such a loud mouth, ridiculous celebrity.
On the other hand if he put his energy into improving the lives of those he pretends to support, I would support him. Even if it meant going to see one of his films.
Now I ask: where do we get the idea that teaching a kid to say “I’m sorry” will make a difference in their lives, or teach them any of life’s lessons? If it teaches anything, it teaches them and those to whom they apologize to lie. Saying you’re sorry when you’re not is a flagrant lie!
If your child does something which warrants an apology help him be sorry, really sorry! Tell him how his words or actions hurt another person and let him feel their pain. Real sorrow shows! When he hangs his head and tears fill his eyes because he hurt another, he will change how he acts and, most importantly, that will show! And if he feels this sorrow each time he offends someone he will grow to be more careful in his speech and his actions. Heck, he may even learn not to blow off his mouth to others.
My dad used to say, “Don’t be sorry, be right.” You won’t have to apologize if you’re right!
So don’t apologize to me, tell me the truth and what I need to hear in a way I can accept it. Then, if I misunderstand it will be my fault and when I realized I was wrong I will feel bad and treat you in a way that tells you “I am sorry!”
One more thing, we parents need to watch what we say and how we act, because we all know kids learn from us; they become us.