If a mom allow herself to think about a mommy makeover, one of the overriding thoughts that we hear about is guilt. However, we have seen that moms who give themselves permission to consider surgery are able to overcome this guilt and impact their family in a much more positive way. Before we talk about the ways to overcome guilt, let’s explore some ways a mom experiences guilt over her mommy makeover. There are two major ways that guilt can creep into a mom’s thinking: money and time.
Money
Mommy makeover surgery does cost real money and any mom can always think of better reasons of how to spend that money – college education, new clothes for the kids, household appliance, car repairs, groceries, laundry detergent, etc. The list can go on and on. Many moms feel unworthy or unwilling to spend the money on themselves. This is totally understandable, but often unnecessary. When we consider the impact of a mom’s positive body image on her family, the price of that can be immeasurable. If a mom is confident and happy, not preoccupied with her appearance, she can devote her energy and focus towards her children. If you are mom who spent nine months carrying a child and have gone through the birthing process, or you have spent countless nights feeding your baby and changing diapers, I believe you have more than earned your right to do something for yourself. If you would pay one penny each time you look in the mirror and be confident for the rest of your life, you have more than already paid for your surgery. Also, a mommy makeover surgery is one time event, not the continual investment needed to maintain other items like a house or car.
Time
Many moms worry about the timing of surgery and/or the time off after surgery. While it’s true you’ll need some time to recover, approximately 2 to 3 weeks, it is not a total loss of those days. Usually after a mom is permitted to shower (for my patients, on the second day) she can begin to return to her normal activities. Usually by 5 to 7 days, a mom is back in her normal routine. The major limitation is on lifting which can be slightly challenging for a mom. It is recommended not to do any heavy lifting for approximately six weeks after surgery. Small amounts of lifting the child in and out of the crib or car seat are allowable after a few weeks.
Some moms are concerned about what will happen to the rest of her family and her house during her downtime. It is true that a mom holds the house and family together. However, for a short period of time complete chaos can ensue, and everybody can and will survive. Trust me, I have lived this on more than one occasion when my physician wife has been on call in the hospital and I’ve had to be in charge of the house and kids. Some of our patients actually choose to recover in a hotel so that life with dad in charge does not have to be experienced by the recovering mother. It can be an outta sight-outta mind phenomenon and sometimes help mom recover better.
The saying goes “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”. This is true in regards to her appearance as well. Another phrase I learned early on in residency was that “you can’t help those unless you help yourself”. Think back to the times when you were sleep deprived after being up all night with a sick child. Your ability to handle even the minor inconveniences of life is greatly hampered without the needed sleep. Now, reflect on times when you were (relatively) well rested. Remember how much more tolerant you were and how you were able to get more things accomplished and deal with your children in a better manner? Now multiply that more than 100 fold as you consider a mommy makeover and the effects it will have on your life and your future. One of the reasons I love performing mommy makeovers is that the impact it has on a mom and her family is like a stone thrown into a river. The ripple effect moves out from the happy, confident mother around to each person in her circle of influence. Just taking into account the effects on her immediate family, the results are remarkable.
So while money and timing can be some key issues that need to be covered when considering a mommy makeover, just know you are not alone in these struggles. Many moms have successfully dealt with these issues and still more face these every day.
I say, live life to the fullest. Lose the guilt and give yourself permission to dream. If you’d like more information about this or would like to see some stories of how other moms journeyed to regain their pre-baby body back, please check out my #1 Amazon Best Selling book: The Mommy Makeover: Restoring Your Body After Childbirth or follow this link to download the first three chapters for free.
